Thursday, May 08, 2008

Right now I am on Flight 298 from Vegas to Seattle. I land about 2:43am, so that should be fun. My flight from Tampa to Vegas ran late, very late, like I was one of those idiots running through the airport yelling... wait, wait, only to find out that we waited for another flight to get in, too. Oh well, I am on the plane.

My flight from Tampa to Vegas, Flight 577, was one of the worst flights I have ever been on, ever. I tried to give up my ticket, to no avail, but I was told I would get a bump and the last minute I guess some guy didn't show up, so I had to get on the flight... in 6E - a middle seat! That isn't so bad, I have done middles before and can handle it. Well, I get towards my row and I can smell the girl in my row, it was HORRIBLE. I am not exaggerating, but she probably had not showered in two days. She was ripe. It was so bad that she left for the bathroom and even her coat smelled like BO.

So, if that wasn't bad enough, this girl did not fly much... I could tell because she asked how much it was for a pop. And she said pop, so I am guessing she was probably a Tampa local, with family transplanted from the midwest. Oh, she also bought the crappy US Air headphones, even thought she had ipod headphones, to watch the movie.

Woah, my plane is bouncing around a lot right now... We must be over the mountains.

So, if her stench wasn't bad enough she did not understand how horrible middle seats are on a 5 hour flight. She kept putting her stuff, and herself, over the visible boundary (arm rest) of where her seat ended and mine began. At first I would try to nudge her politely, just push her elbow back over to her side. Then after that didn't work, I actually said to her, can you move out of my space. I said it nicely, and she moved. Well, literally, 2 minutes later, she edges back over, and puts her elbow/forearm about 4 inches over and rests her fingers on my tray table... WHAT? Didn't I just ask you not to invade my personal space??? I pay for the 18-20 inches inbetween arm rests. That is my space, not yours...

It didn't stop there. She was having difficulty watching the movie because the guy infront of us had a giant head and kept putting his hands on top of his head, blocking her view. So, there she was... leaning in my personal space. And her hair, smelled so dirty! Well, I reminded her again, nicely, about the boundaries. We were good until she fell asleep... and Bam... elbow in my space about 4 inches again, and head droops on to my shouder. That was it. I put my seat in the upright position, which woke her up, and she proceeded to cough without covering her mouth. Fun times.

Ok, so inbetween writing this... um, the woman next to me on my current flight just spilled her Starbucks all over my jacket and almost my laptop! And caused me to spill my water a bit all over me... and a little bit on my laptop! Seriously... what is going on? I should have known that was about to happen because she had already dropped it twice. Now I am in the last row of the plane, I smell like Starbucks and spolied milk, and the plane is always more bumpy in the back, so tons of typos right now. Oh and I am totally sunburnt! AAHH... I cannot wait to be home... and my next few trips are on Sky Team Airlines, which means 1st class. Thankfully.

Oh, I wrote this whole few paragraphs that were erased because I didn't save, and when the water spilled they disappeared. Hopefully it didn't fuck up my laptop for real.

But what I was saying was my flight from Tampa was late... so I couldn't check email at Las Vegas airport and I have all these random emails about drama I have created on accident in Seattle - for those of you that know... I am remaining incognito until this blows over.

1 hour left on this flight.... and counting...!

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