Wednesday, July 16, 2008

It is late, I am not sleeping... I'll rant a bit.

So, a big pet peeve of mine is when people do not take responsibility for themselves and their own actions. I am not perfect, but I do try to follow that as close as possible, especially these days. Of course, there is the occasion where maybe you drink too much, or you are dead tired and something slips out... But for the most part I try to live with a clean conscience and try to take responsibility for me.

I kind of got involved in a weird situation recently, where I became unnecessarily and unwantingly (is that a word??) entangled with two people that are totally emotionally and mentally unstable, and have not taken responsibility for themselves. It is a weird feeling when you are dealing with people like that, almost like you are drowning, and a hand is pushing on your chest - keeping you under water... I try to remove those people from my life, as it is just not healthy.

Another thing, weak people - and I am not talking about sensitive - I am talking about weak people, with low self esteem, low self worth, insecure, jealous, etc... People that let people other take advantage of them, won't stand up for themselves, etc... I think that is another bothersome thing for me. I am a pretty independent woman, I rely on myself - and of course I use my family and some friends as a safety net, as everyone should have a security net as sometimes you do fall down... but for the most part I do it on my own, and I like it that way.

Oh, another thing I like, is boundaries. I find that in the past few years, especially since moving to Seattle, I have found my boundary comfort levels, defined them, and know where I place most people in my life, and where they are within the boundaries. Boundaries keep things simple, and easy to deal with, and well, drama free.

This past weekend, I stupidly crossed a boundary. Partly because I was caught off guard and partly because I felt bad for one of the parties involved, and my womanly, helping, nurturing, fix everything instincts kicked in... I felt bad for both people in this situation, especially the woman (stupid, I know, they brought it on themselves!) and now, I am kicking myself for not just hanging up the phone right away. Damn curiosity, it always kills the cat!

But I will say this, even though it is not the easiest thing... When you are in a relationship, and shady shit happens, and you catch your honey in lies, it is time to leave, because the lies get worse, and deeper, and then you end up investing time and energy, which will only end up hurting more in the long run. If someone brings out the bad in you, the sadness in you, makes you hurt... leave! Everyone deserves to be treated with respect, and if you are not getting respect then it is time to get out!

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