Wednesday, July 22, 2009

6 miles high

So, I am headed to Detroit on NWA (read: Delta) flight 216. I haven't been home since Christmas, which is a change from last year, when I was home quite a bit. Flying home is always weird, because my day consists of 21 hours, rather than 24 hours. Right now it is light out, I am not sure where we are but I have a feeling it's probably still in Washington State - oh wait, Captain just said Spokane area.
It's always weird to go home for reasons that you did not plan. My grandma is sick, really sick. I have work shit to take care of. I didn't really tell many friends or family I am coming in. I am just there and then... I'm gone.

At some point in the last few months, I became a Seattleite. I think I first realized it in February-ish but as more time passes, and as I am not with Ryan anymore, I feel that I have established some roots here in Seattle and more specifically, Belltown.

Something interesting happened a few weeks ago. The same night as the crazy gunman bullshit. I was standing on the corner of 2nd and Bell, with all the onlookers, gawkers, evacuees, and crackheads. All of a sudden I looked around and I knew people - by name. We said our hellos, drunk hugs, and vowed to hang out soon (which we all probably will not) but the important thing that came about that corner... was neighborhood. It was like when you were a kid and your family knew all the others on the block. Or not. This could all be drunk airplane talk.

I am in a transitional phase right now. Sometimes I feel my spirit is broken. Other times I feel it is just being born. Yet, there are more times where I wake up and think - what the fuck am I doing? I suppose all pretty normal things for a 20-something, right? When I was younger... I thought at 27, almost 28, I'd have this shit figured out by now. Now, as an adult, with a small (and I stress small) amount of experience under my belt I realize... Maybe we never have it figured out.

I am on a plane, and off the grid. No Twitter, Facebook, Gtalk or email. Just me, my thoughts and my music. And this is what I came up with... for now.

5:19pm

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